To the Point
by Mi
Summary: One lonely night after the Dark Lord Defeat, Professor Snape decides he wants to have sex. As blunt as that.


Author Notes:

It's a quicky ... er, it was written very quickly. It's a response to all the Snape-needs-drama-suffering-and-plot-to-shag-someone stories that many authors, Mi included, are so fond of. ;-)

Yap betaed! And did some pulling. And had Freud for dinner.

Mi

****

To the Point

Severus Snape hadn't had sex in ages. And he meant _ages_. Like in - ten years. Not that he hadn't _wanted_ to have sex. He'd just been extremely busy with redemption and bringing about the Dark Lord's downfall. But now that Voldemort was dead for good and everyone could live happily ever after ... he _so_ needed to be laid. 

His fingers performed an erratic dance on his desktop. Of course, he could go to Hogsmeade and ... no. He wasn't _that_ desperate. Well, he _was_ - but there were still rules. And he sure could find someone who did it voluntarily, could he? So? School was still going on for five days. Way too long to wait. It had to be someone from Hogwarts then. His fingers stopped tapping and started playing softly with some papers. He could just as well do the first one entering his office. This way he wouldn't waste time with all that choosing. The part of himself that was still capable of actual thinking protested vehemently. 

Someone knocked on his door. Snape straightened up expectantly. That was easier than he'd thought. "Come in."

"I came to give you the phial you wanted, sir."

Potter! Potter? Oh well, speaking about rules: no students. 

"Five points from Gryffindor for being ... too young, Potter. Now, be gone."

The boy hurried out of the room and closed the door behind him. Snape shifted uneasily in his chair and decided against all rational judgment to wait for the next visitor.

***

Five hours and eight students later he was just about to go to bed and do whatever was necessary to get his blood back into his brain, when he heard another, almost hesistant knock.

"Come in."

"Sorry for disturbing you, Professor Snape. But I _do_ need some advice only _you_ can give me," the sweetest voice of Hogwarts sang. Not that he usually got hooked by sweetness but ... better than Potter it was.

"You're not disturbing me in any way, Professor Palm. Do sit down." Or just sprawl over my desk, he added silently. Oh God. Perhaps he should take a dive in the lake. And drown.

The new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher placed herself very elegantly on the chair in front of his desk. She crossed her legs pointedly. "It only takes a minute, or ... are you busy with something?" Her deep blue eyes sank deeply into his. Obviously he wasn't the only one in need of some release. 

"Actually, I have all the time we need to solve whatever problem you -" The door flew open with a bang.

"Severus! Oh, excuse me, Mary. I need to talk to Severus for a moment. It won't take long. Just, would you be so kind and ... " Remus Lupin didn't wait for an answer and shoved her quickly towards the exit. "Professor Flitwick wants to have a word with you," he added eagerly.

"Flitwick?" She frowned shortly and then shrugged. "Oh, well. Could be worse." And without a second glance at Snape she left his office.

Lupin took the chair and grinned. "Say thanks."

"_For what_?" Snape managed through clenched teeth.

"Oh, didn't you notice? She was going to - you know."

"Seduce me?"

"Yeah."

"So?"

"Oh. But, the poor woman just had a Love-Potion accident. In case you didn't notice. She would have quite embarassed herself." 

Damn! At least the illusion had lasted for two minutes. "You sure about that?"

"Hm?"

"Never mind." Snape leaned back and didn't even bother to glare. Lupin was just annoyingly decent. He shuddered.

"You're cold?" Lupin asked.

"Er ... not quite so." 

"Well," he pulled himself up, "I'd better go. I can't believe _I'm_ helping out for Sprout. I so don't know anything about Herbology."

"Wait." Snape couldn't believe he was doing this.

"Yes?"

"I know some Biology - Hermiony - Herbology. I mean, I have students - books. Reference." That was so lame, really. 

"Why yes. I could need some help with that stuff. And Ms Granger did always seem quite the bookish type. But ..."

"What?"

"Would you mind raising the temperature? _I'm_ rather cold."

Lupin's voice sounded strangely soft. He'd positively _purred_. Whatever it was, Snape felt shivers running down his spine. Repeatedly. Temperature sure wasn't a problem for _him_ right now. "Yes," he said hoarsely.

"Yes what? You would mind?"

"Er, no. Just make yourself comfortable." 

Lupin lit up the fireplace and positioned himself decoratively on the couch. Snape threw three books into his ... lap, and then watched. But the only thing that happened was that Lupin read out some paragraphs to him. Although he wasn't quite sure they were really about Herbology. Lupin sounded more and more stimulating with every word. And had he ever noticed what a beautiful nose Lupin had? _'Of course not. It's Lupin! Hello?'_ his brain yelled at him before it disappeared around a very distant corner.

" ... how does _that_ work?" Lupin slowly ran one hand through his hair and along his neck. His fingers played with his ear, and then - Snape's stomach made a jerk - he opened the first three buttons of his robe. "Ohhh," Snape moaned. 

Lupin looked up. In quite a tempting manner. "I know, it's not the _hottest_ of subjects. You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"No. I want you." _Oh God!_

"You want what?"

"Er ... I want ... it. You. Whatever." He jumped up. "Can you get your clothes off?"

Lupin didn't move. He didn't even blink. He smiled smugly. "That was quick. I wasn't even _starting_ to turn you on. Fifty points to Gryffindor, I'd say."

Although witty repartee had become really difficult now, what with no brain and all, Snape still remembered some basic reactions. He sneered. "As always, Lupin, I'm way ahead of you."

Lupin's eyes wandered down Snape's body. "Yes, I can see that."

But Snape was also way ahead of embarassment. He reached down and pulled Lupin up into a top grade kiss. With tongue, body-pressing and everything. And when he finally pulled away from him, it was his turn to take a thorough look. "Looks to me like we're even now, wolfboy."

"Not quite so," Lupin's voice cracked. "But in a second ... " 

Lupin pulled him down again, and Snape's last semi-coherent thought was that there was really an awful lot of pulling going on, and that he should reprimand Lupin for wearing a pullover under his robes, which he now had quite some difficulty pulling over his head ... er, no. That was just too _prosaic_. He'd rather have liked it to be something along the lines of - he wouldn't mind defeating some Dark Lord every now and then. Not when Remus Lupin was sharing the after-effects with him.

Yes. That seemed to pull it off nicely.

__

the end


End file.
